It hurts .
Thursday 17 May 2012 | 07:03 | 0 comments
So apparently this week hasn't been so well .Firstly , my MYE results .
I failed 3 subjects .
Amath , Chem & phy : / .
I also failed my E.geog but my social studies saved me .
Thank God (: .
My other results didn't land me higher than a B .
Even my art depressed me : / .
Gosh I needa work harder now .
Sigh .
& my tempers pretty bad .
Especially when my phone lags or when my comps just haves it's own spasms & it really gets on my nerves .
Urgh ,
but I'm trying to cool , I'm trying to cool (: .
I've realized it's really hard to just pretend & hide things like this .
I'm just creating this huge lie to myself , thinking I could just forget you when I can't .
I don't even know why I like you so much .
I know you don't like me back & I don't wish for you to .
But I just wish you knew how much it hurts .
It hurts to just ignore you .
To just pretend we're strangers .
We're barely even look at each other .
If you asked me why I like / liked you so much ,
I really have no idea .
I tried to stop , really I did .
But I found out , it made nothing better .
Just worse .
Well , not for you of course . For me .
I'm just sounding pathetic writing this all down .
I'm pathetic & lousy & gut-less .
All I wish is for this pain in me to stop .
God , why ?
I don't know ..
I have friends , good friends , no great friends , who told me to give up & just find someone new .
Well , it isn't that simple honestly .
I would love to , but it's hard .
Firstly it's hard to let go .
Even if my mind said "Let go" , my heart would still say "no..."
Sigh .
But I'm still trying I guess .
Hopefully one day maybe , one day I can finally let go (: .
Hopefully one day maybe , one day I can finally let go (: .
Haha .
I just wish to find someone who'd understand me .
Apparently , not many people do .
I think in the whole world there's only 1 person who understands me & that's my best friend Cassandra .
She'd never let me down , no matter what (: .
Haha .
I just wanna drown myself in tears , if I can . Hahaha .
That's all for now .
Buhbye (: